I am trying to write a little more frequently. Life is busy. That is my constant. I keep thinking it is going to calm down, but I am wrong. As we speak, I am in over my head in a few different areas. First, we are finally going to replace the upstairs carpet. It is something I have been wanting to do for years. Everytime we think about it, I just can't justify spending the money. With three in college, we just couldn't consider it. But our carpet is getting so grose that I can hardly handle it. Call me a wimp.... especially after reading the conditions of the people Erin is around right now. We can wait. I know we can. In fact, I am almost certain that we should... but my amazing husband is insistent that we do it now. So, we have begun the process. We haven't ordered it yet, that is an overwhelming task. We finally chose the carpet, had them come measure it, but as soon as they gave us the estimate I turned and ran. I just couldn't stomach it. The unfortunate part is that we had tore our bedroom completely up. We literally stripped the ceiling of that tacky decorative mudding. That was a JOB!! Oh what a mess that made. It took Mark 3 days to complete it so that it was ready to paint. In the meantime, our whole house got destroyed. Once it was done, we had to paint. So I took over that job and painted the ceiling and all the walls. We didn't worry about the carpet because we knew we would be replacing it. Now that I am trying to run from the price, I am faced with the fact that we HAVE to replace our carpet no matter what. In addition to that, we now need to replace the bedspread and curtains... all things that I never thought out before doing this. And because of painting our room, I am now needing to paint stairs and hallways and our bathroom. That is the major project going on. But add to this craziness, Emily's wedding is in 2 1/2 months. In addition to that, I am the VBS director for a VBS that anticipates 140 kids in attendance! That VBS is only 3 weeks after Emily's wedding. It is a MAJOR undertaking. So... I can safely say... I am a bit overwhelmed. But, it is not the first time in my life that my life is so crazy that I feel a bit suffocated. Switching topics, we have heard from Erin. It is amazing what God is doing in her life. It is a bit harder on me only because I can't hear from her very often. We heard from her Monday and then didn't hear again until yesterday. She doesn't have internet access very easily. she is doing great and really growing. Sam just got back to campus after a road trip to Florida with CBF (Campus Bible Fellowship) He had an amazing week. We missed out on seeing him, but his experience was far greater. Jacob just had his wisdom teeth removed on Wednesday. He took his SAT test today. Emily is in NYC and having a great time. She made one last road trip with her "girl" friends. I am so glad she had the opportunity to go. She got to visit BBC. I think she was very happy to make a visit there.

It has been nearly a month since my last post. I guess I have fallen... once again.. into the black hole of life and rarely able to climb out of it. As I think of February, my mind goes in many directions. Erin is living in Africa. We get to talk to her just about everyday; either by skype or through facebook. She is doing well and has many, many stories. It is fun to read her blog and see Africa through her eyes. She is growing like crazy. She and Mark are reading through the bible in 90 days. It is so cool to watch her grow spiritually. Yesterday, she traveled 14 hours from Kigali, Africa to Uganda. She will be there for a week before she begins her practicum. Tomorrow she will be white water rafting down the Nile river. Of all the things she is doing, that one makes me the most nervous. She is very excited about it though... so I will sit back and rest in God's hands... holding my breath until I hear from her (which might get hard since I probably won't hear from her until Tuesday). We haven't heard whether she has made it safely to Uganda or not. I imagine that if she hadn't, then someone would have been calling us. Sometimes it gets very hard to lay things at the foot of Jesus and just simply trust. It is easy to say until everything is taken out of your control and you find yourself face to face with the knowledge that there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to protect your child or help them. If she needed me, it would be several days before I could actually reach her. I often find myself thinking of adopting Ri and Elizabeth. I remember that same helpless feeling.. knowing that the ONLY thing I could do was to pray. And so... I pray for Erin. Feel free to join me in my prayers. :) The wedding plans are coming along. I am so thankful for a daughter who is simple and sweet and who does not put on heirs. She is easy going and very frugal. They are getting married at Skyview, having an outdoor... simple dessert reception. She has ordered her dress .. ONLINE rather then spending $550 on a dress at David's Bridal. She chosen colors (purple, grey and white). She has ordered invitations (she and Caleb designed and ordered without my help) and spent only $55.00 for 150 invitations, 200 personalized thank you cards, and 400 return labels. Caleb has acquired an internship position with a church and has been hired as the worship leader and Emily has interviewed already for a Nanny position that would begin July 1st (2 weeks after she and Caleb move to Chicago). She will have an other interview when she visits Chicago next. The husband was very impressed with her and wants his wife to interview her as well. They have applied for married housing and have found that they are #34 on the waiting list. They are praying that they actually get into the housing units. The amazing family that she babysits for right now has given her and Caleb a car! Yep... it is a 1996 Toyota. Right now, Emily has a 1995 GE LeBaron. The Toyota is a much better car. She and Caleb both need to learn to drive a stick shift first, though! :) She is in the process of trying to make her flowers. I am so proud of her. I wish she would spend the money and buy flowers... but she absolutely refuses to spend that much money on flowers! She cracks me up. Sam is soaring in his walk with the Lord. He has really connected with a group of kids on campus and is very, very active in CBF (Campus Bible Fellowship). Right now he is on his way to Florida with 23 others from the group to serve at a camp. It is a combination of Spring Break and missions. He was very excited. He made the Deans List last sememster! We are so proud of him! This semester has not been so easy. He is struggling in one class pretty badly. The professer is very hard to understand and is throwing things at the kids on exams that she never taught. To give you an idea... the average exam score was 45 out of 100!!! I do not understand how colleges can consider having a professor on staff with whom over half the class is literally failing... if not a larger percentage then 1/2. That just is not right! It isn't fair to the students to have professors who can't teach. It is one thing for a few kids to fail... but for nearly an entire class to fail... that says something. So, you can pray that he raises his grade. There are many things that a poor grade can effect. I nkow it is just one class.. .but that grade could possibly effect scholarships. If they get effected, then schooling is drastically effected. Besides this one silly class... he is doing really well. Jacob is growing into a wonderful young man. It is fun to watch the changes in him. It has been a rough road, just as it was with one of our other kids. Each one is different and each one adds a different dynamic to our life. In the midst of puberty and struggling to obtain their own identity, kids sometimes choose a different path then we, as parents, desire. JAcob has met me on the battlefield many times in the past few years. We both have wounds from the battles. But, I feel like those days are gone and we are ... once again... becoming allies. It has been so painful because Jacob has always had a very, very special part of my heart. I can not explain why. But there had always been a bond between us that was different then all the other kids. It was a deep, searing bond... one that I thought was never breakable. At times, I even felt suffocated by that bond, for fear of what would happen to Jacob's world if something ever happened to me. Similar to Elizabeth right now. But a few years ago, that bond was severed. It was severed so drastically that I felt my world caving in on me. I felt like I had lost a part of my heart forever. I didn't know what to do or how to deal with it. It put a fear in me that is indescribable. Honestly, the pain was so deep that there are not words adequate. The fear of losing your child forever; especially because of things that you had done, is devastating. But prayer changes things. I finally feel like my son is coming back to me. This time, not out of dependance on me. His world will not crash if I die. He will survive. He is stronger now. Our relationship isn't what it use to be; that is very hard to accept. He doesn't look to me as his hero anymore. I am not quite sure I am up to the "someone he respects" line yet. .... but I think he feels love for me once again; at least I have hope in that. I see God working. That is all I can ask for. I am confident that God ahs a plan for Jacob; one that is mighty. I am also confident that JAcob does not have those same visions. But if God does, He will open Jacob's eyes to it. I am anxious to see where God plans on sending Jacob to school. I am also very nervous about it as well.