Well, tomorrow is a big day for me. It will mark my first interview in over 23 years! Wow. that is kind of mind boggling. Funny thing is, I don't know if I want the job or not. I am so torn right now it is crazy. I don't know if I want to homeschool or not, sub or not, be a secretary or not. Too many decisions right now. Today was a fairly productive day, though not near as much as it could have been. I began really tearing up the basement and discovered lots of mold. That is scary for me. All kinds of thoughts and fears creep in when I think of it for too long.... from silly, stupid fears that are worthless to consider or fear about (like spiders and bugs) to major health issues from black mold. The mind really can take control sometimes. I haven't heard from Sam in so long that we decided he has written us off. He is enjoying SKyview so much that he rarely calls or talks.... or come home. Erin and Jacob A. are trying to start things over again. I am happy about that. I think they are good for each other.... but ultimately, it doesn't matter what I think. It only matters what God's plan is for both of them. Tomorrow opens up the common app for colleges. I can't convince Jacob that he needs to begin applying. I wish that I could, but he and I don't see eye to eye often. Emily is feeling better today. I am glad for that. I think Caleb is doing well, though I don't talk to him that often. I need to change that. Life is good. I can hardly believe that Mark and I are about to celebrate 23 years of marriage! Crazy! I am truly blessed.

Trying to post a few pictures from earlier this year. When Erin came home from Africa, she brought gifts for everyone. It was such a precious thought. Everyone loved their gift. She put so much thought behind each one. It was fun to watch everyone opening them up. She has an amazing experience in Africa. SHe came back a much more confident and selfless person. Today we spent the day running around. I really don't enjoy those kind of days. Emily called and share with me that she has the stomach flu... or at least she thinks so. I feel badly for her. She walked half way to work before her boss called her to tell her she didn't have to come in. She is still feeling miserable and it is 9:00pm their time. Caleb is taking good care of her though. Elizabeth saw the hearing doctor today. Her ears look great. It is the first visit in awhile in which they didn't have to do anything. We made a trip to Galion to pick up a collar for Shu for our invisible fence, only to get it home and discover that the old collar works just fine. :( Jacob had his first official soccer practice, though they have been practicing pretty much all summer. He was disappointed because he has worked his tail off during the off season and wasn't able to get the varsity time for the mile. That destroyed him.

Just a few more wedding pictures to highlight. Today I received a phone call from the new principal at Elizabeth and Ri's school. I had applied for the secretary position. He set up an interview for Thursday. Honestly, I am a bit terrified. It isn't that I am terrified of interviewing or even working, but I am terrified as to whether this is what we should be considering or not. At least with subbing, I have the option to not work when I need to be home. Fulltime is just that.... fulltime. And I am not the type that gives it my "half". I am terrified what things will be like if I actually work full time. I know many women do it and do it well... but I am not one that does anything all that well. If I did, we would probably be homeschooling the kids.

I make no promises, but my desire is to update. Life has calmed down and I don't feel in turmoil anymore. What use to be my therapeutic way of dealing with life, became something I couldn't possibly do anymore. I used to blog to share my heart, but my heart was dealing with so much that I couldn't possibly share... so blogging our life was an impossible task for me. I want to update because I want to keep a record of our life; mainly for my kids to look back on. So, I will attempt... again. I won't go through the past, though I wish I could. But I will share with you that Emily is very, very happily married. The wedding was amazing; perfect in every way. She was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. She was glowing and full of joy despite waking me up at 4:30 announcing that she thought she had the stomach flu. She was miserable, yet no one would have ever known. She was truly the happiest bride that I have ever watched. Jacob is in the midst of searching for colleges. He has done outstanding on his ACT and SAT tests and has many doors possible. Sam and Erin are both at SKyview this summer. Sam is a counselor and Erin is a program director. Sam gets a chance to be a PD this week. He is very excited. Elizabeth and Ri are growing like crazy. We are in the middle of trying to figure out whether to homeschool them or send them to school. Today I begin serious training for a 5K mudder. I need to be accountable to someone. So.. I think I will tryto post here how I am doing. Today, I have not yet had coffee. I am ready to attempt some insanity.