Since my last post, much has happened around here. The biggest news is that Erin has left AND arrived in Rwanda. I put up a clock so that we could always know what the time is in Africa. I will probably post a weather button as well. I like knowing all that I can about my girl. She made it safely. She is excited about it. She created her own blog so that she can post things and keep us a little updated. It is: erininafrica.blogspot.com if you would like to check it out. I am not sure how often she will be able to post things. When she arrived, they were out of electricity. So for 24 hours or so, we hadn't heard whether she arrived safely or not. That was a test of faith. But on Monday, on our way to the Great Wolf Lodge, Jacob A. sent me a text telling me that we had heard from her. She had posted on facebook that she had arrived and that didn't have electricity. The group had gone to a restauarant that had wifi adn electricity to be able to post something. The cool thing was that Jacob told us she wanted to skype us and wish Elizabeth a happy birthday. So while driving down the road, we were able to skype our daughter in Africa. Crazy!!! I can't tell you much about her trip only because I could hear her and I didn't know that she was typing things to us. I only know what she has posted. The next big thing is that Elizabeth has now turned 8 too. We celebrated both her and Ri's birthday at the Great Wolf Lodge. It is somewhere that I have longed to take our kids. Mark is not a big fan of those kind of places, so he has always shot the idea down. He finally smiled at me this last time I asked and said... go for it. Then he added that he was hoping it would scratch my itch and he would no longer hear about it. :( After watching the kids faces yesterday, it makes me sad that we may never do it again. They loved every second of it. Unfortunately, Jacob could not go with us because he did not want to miss school. It ends up he missed it anyway because he was so sick (flu). Mark felt miserable most of the time, probably with some virus. Emily came with us and was such a delight... but her knees hurt so badly that she was in pain most of the time. Both Mark and Em suffered through the waterpark... and with smiles most of the time. Elizabeth was finally able to do all of the watertubes! (except for 1, she was 1/2 inch short). The lodge had a MagiQuest for the kids to participate in. It is a type of "hunt" where they get a magic wand and have at least 8 or 9 "quests" to conquer. They have clues for each quest and have to use their wand to "find" the things they are told to go find. Once they find all the items from the quest, they have to go back to a wizard and get their next quest. We spent 2 hours Monday evening running all over the hotel. The kids had a blast. Mark and Em hurt to badly to be a part of it. But the kids and I had so much fun. Yesterday, we spent another 2 hours trying to finish our quest, but the something made our wand stop working, the quest shop was shut down for the moment, and Mark was pretty weary... so we stopped the quest and left. Here are some pictures from our adventures at the Great Wolf Lodge:

I am struggling with figuring out how to make God real for my kids. Yesterday, I ran into the college kids sunday school teacher. He shared with me an activity that he had the kids all do. He had them take a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. Then they were to write something about their faith before getting saved on one side and write about their faith now on the other side. They posted them all on a bulletin board in their room. Pastor Matt and I decided to go see them all. It was so cool to read them. There were many different things that were written. Some of them grabbed at my heart. It was such a joy reading how God had changed them. One had written on the "before side"...... something like... "walking in my parents faith". I am pretty confident that that child was mine. If it wasn't, I am sure it could have been. I struggle with that thought. I know it is real. We have had them in church since the day they were born or brought into our family. God has been a part of our conversations and our thoughts.... but has he been real? My kids faith when they were young was very real. Jacob seemed to have more faith then I have ever dreamed of having. He taught me many, many lessons about God and about my faith. Was it real for him? I know that all of my kids at one point or another have really struggled with making their faith their own. Emily, Erin, and Sam have all come through on the other side of it. They have made their faith THEIR faith and not ours. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen over night. All 3 battled inward battles and questions about whether God is really real and whether the Bible is the absolute truth. When they were young, we were faithful at teaching them about God all of the time. We had family devos and we purposely sought opportunities to teach them about Jesus Christ and the love of God. We parented with a purpose of teaching them the ways of God. But as chaos increased, that still small voice that was often heard could no longer be heard easily. Life overtook us..... our schedules got crazy, we went through 2 adoptions and we had several teenagers. God got pushed to the side..... well... not really God, but Him being a priority. I remember not allowing Erin or Emily to play on an all-star softball team because they played on Sundays. I remember missing coaching and the girls playing on a Wednesday night because it interfered with church. I remember Erin missing the first game on a Sunday tournament for soccer because we put God ahead of it all. Now, we don't think anything of missing a Wednesday night service. We don't attend any Sunday night services. It was a slow thing. At first, it was only a few and only when it was a "good excuse" to miss. Then as Wednesday night adult services became so few attended and they stopped offering Wednesday nights for the kdis in the summer, it was easier to miss. Then they removed Sunday evening services to attempt to encourage small groups.... only to backfire and cause our family to stop Sunday nights all together. And our attempts at family devos are fleeting and far between. We try, only to fail because of the chaos of our schedule. So where does that leave our family? In my opinion... in a world of hurt. One of my kids is struggling so deeply with doubts of God's existence and the bibles truth.... so deeply, yet crying out so desparately to hear God's voice...only to have the pleas fall on "deaf ears" in their words. And the little ones? Oh.. I feel so desparate with them. Ri is so tender hearted and open to the things of God but Elizabeth seems hard and distant from it all. They both have "accepted Christ" as their savior. But I am not so sure that Elizabeth is truly receptive to it all. I think there has been something so deep in her that has been hurt that she really has no clue and it is that hurt that holds her back. So.... I am desparately crying out to God for a revival in my home. For the one who is hurting and struggling with questions to finally find the answers. I am begging God to show Himself to my child and to soften their heart to be able to fall at His knees in complete submission of their life.

We began our first Upward game of the seaso yesterday. It amazed me how much Ri and Elizabeth have grown since last year's season. Last year, Elizabeth loved the game, but was shy and timid when playing. Everyone was routing for her to make one basket during the season. With every shot, the entire crowd were root for her to make it. It was probably because was just so stinking cute on running around on the court. This year, she is still the littlest on the court with the sweetest and shyest little smile. She plays with determination and excitement, focused on guarding her man and making sure she passes the ball if she needs to. But the difference yesterday was that she made 3 baskets and she seemed to be confident in her dribbling! It was so much fun to watch. Ri was just as good. He played his little heart out. He made 3 baskets as well. They were as excited as could be when the games were all over. This year, Mark and Emily are coaching Elizabeth. I was all excited for Jacob and I to coach Ri, but jsut as it was time to turn in the applications, I found out that Jacob had planned on coaching with one of his buddies. I was crushed. But... I stepped out and let him do it. So, I am really not a part it this year. That is pretty hard on me. I have always coached as long as I have been able to coach. I had to stop for awhile because of Ri and Elizabeth. Then, last year, Mark and Jacob coached Elizabeth and Sam and a buddy coached Ri. All last year, I kept reminding myself that this year I would get to coach since Sam was heading off to college. I never dreamed that Jacob would not want me to coach with him. I should have seen it coming, but it blindsided me. I guess it is another time in which God had chose to humble me. I am really getting worn out with his humbling me. I wish I could just learn whatever it is he wants me to learn so that I could quit having to face it. Faith and Eli got home safely. Today, Sam headed back to college and Emily headed to spend a few days with her boyfriend and his family. It is quiet around here. Watching Sam leave makes me very sad. I feel like we didn't really have any time with him. With the cousins here, I never really got to have time alone with him. He faced a few difficult situations, and those seemed to shut him down. So seeing him leave has left me kind of feeling empty. I ache for him. I want their breaks to be good and enjoyable and relaxing. I don't feel like his was any of that. He loves his cousings very, very much. But it is a time in his life when he really just wants to move forward and find someone to share it with. It seems that God just keeps allowing Sam to struggle with that area of his life. It breaks my heart. Erin leaves for Africa in 11 days. I'm not so comfortable with that part of my life as well. She just had immunization shots for yellow fever and polio and is currently taking live typhoid pills right now. It is quiet nerve wracking knowing all that is going into her system and all that she might encounter. She has to begin malaria pills as well. She wont be home until May 12th. She is planning on starting a blog so that she can share with us "her journey". That gives me a small comfort. I am fine with a few weeks away .... in another country.... but a few months....so far away.. not begin able to get to her if she needs me...... is very, very hard.

Yesterday was Ri's birthday. I can not believe he is 8 years old. I woke him up, kissing his cheek and wishing him a happy birtday. He rolled over, smiled and said "I still feel 7". It was adorable! Emily worked so hard to make it a special day for him. She and Caleb stayed up til 2:30 making cake pops for him to take to school. He loved them. Then she went to the store and bought t-shirts for everyone to make to celebrate his special day. It was s o thoughtful. They also strung lights all over and made a whole new set of cake pops for home. We made homemade pizza for everyone and Ri opened his gifts. He loved the attention. It was very sweet.

I guess I must be on overdrive right now. Too often, in the past week, I have been asked the question "are you ok?" or been told I look tired. I am, I guess. Today, we have 9 kids in our home. Faith and Eli are still here. We are enjoying them! Emily's boyfriend, Caleb has come to visit as well. I don't mind at all, but the constant need to pick up and cook gets exhausting. The noise gets even more exhausting at times. But. .. I am trying to choose to embrace it. I just don't succeed all of the time. We had Awana tonight. The kids love Awana! The older kids went to church and then went bowling. Oh to be young and carefree again. What fun. Emily took Caleb and Eli out on the pond for the first time this season. It seems to be frozen.... or at least frozen enough that it is safe to walk on. It makes me nervous. I find that the older I get, the more aware of danger I become and the more apprehensive I am of things.

Today, we began a new year. Like most years, I have several resolutions. One is to attempt to journal again. We just opened Jacob's 16th birthday book and it reminded me, once again, how priceless my journaling is to our family. So, I am sitting down, with a purpose, to attempt to journal our journey. This morning we began the new year with our "traditional" New Year's celebration. It is unlike anyone elses that I know. But this morning, Mark shared with all of us the reason he and I began our tradition. It was a precious and tender moment for all of us. He shared his heart and for the first time, I think our kids realized some precious truths. He shared how his grandparents came to know the Lord and how deep their convictions were. He shared with us how the bible became their source of truth and how reading the Bible was a daily routine. As they read the Bible, God began to change their hearts in everything. They became the most generous and loving people. It was the Bible that changed them and it was Jesus they fell in love with. As they read the BIble, they realized that all that Christmas is now can not be found in the Bible. It was their conviction to remove the celebration of Christmas from their home. They didn't do it to make some statement, they did it because they didn't see it in the Bible and if it wasnt there, they didn't want to be a part of it. That conviction was passed on to his mom and then passed on to her children. But as he has watched over the years and read, he shared with the kids this verse: Romans 14:5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He told them that as he read this verse, he realized that it is not necessarily his own conviction. But when we first got married, it was something that he believed and desired that we not celebrate Christmas. So, as a compromise to me, we devleoped our own tradition with New Years. Over time, he has realized that there is nothing wrong or evil about celebrating Christmas. He even asked our kids last year or the year before if they wanted to just open gifts on Christmas. Many, if not all, very emphatically said no. You see, Christmas is a time when we remember the birth of Christ through the church services and the traditions of many Christians. We go to my parents and have a "traditional" Christmas with them. We have a big dinner and gifts. Though Christ is not a priority in their life, Christmas has always been the most precious time of the year for my mom. Because of that, Mark has allowed us to share it with them. But we do not have anything at our house. We don't wake up and do gifts or celebrations or anything. It is New Years that we do all the fun stuff. We wake up and have our big "surprise" with gifts everywhere. I didn't want to lose that tradition, so Mark allowed us to celebrate New Years. Now we make it a precious time where we reflect on what God has done in the past year and pray for the present year. After that, the kids all choose a gift and then giveit to another child to hide. They run all over the house and hide a gift. Then when Mark says "go", they go hunt for their gift. This happens for all 4 or 5 gifts we give them. This morning, it took 3 hours for the whole "event". We had our neice and nephew with us.. so it was 8 kids hiding presents. It was fun. We are very blessed. As for health in our home, we are very blessed as well. Right now, we are battling the stomach flu. It seems as it gets passed on, it gets a little more intense. I think it began with Elizabeth on Christmas. Ri may have had it a few days earlier. Neither actually threw up, but Ri felt bad and Elizabeth cried about her belly hurting. She ended up with a 103 temp. Then Jacob felt miserable and wanted to throw up Saturday, but never did. Yesterday, I ate some olives that ended up being 3 years expired. I didn't know that because someone had just given them to us. I don't know if that did me in or if I had the stomach flu as well. Emily and I are the only 2 who had the flu shot. I actually ended up throwing up. I felt pretty crummy the rest of the night, but not like I do when I have the stomach flu. Emily felt very nauscious last night as well, but never got sick. Erin and Mark have been battling the nausea off and on for several days. Today, Faith (my neice) ended up with it and ended up getting sick several times. I feel so badly for her. But despite getting sick, she always comes out with a smile and thanking me for offering to help her. She warms my heart... what trooper. Sam was sicker then I ever remember him being a few months ago. I am hoping it was this flu and he is immune to this episode. That leaves Eli (my nephew). Let's pray he doesn't get sick. They fly home Friday. The highlight of 2012 was to hear that my neice accepted Jesus Christ as her savior in October and was baptized on December 23rd. It doesn't get any better then that. We have prayed for her since she was born. What a precious joy. And to add more joy to the news, she is loving reading her bible. It just thrills my heart!